Bittersweet Burdens
by Jenn1
Summary: Book, but more Movie based. Edmund gets some gifts for his eleventh birthday that make him think about his time in Narnia. About a year after LWW. Oneshot.


**Title:** Bittersweet Burdens

**Author:** Jenn

**Summary: **Book, but more Movie based. Edmund gets some gifts for his eleventh birthday that make him think about his time in Narnia. About a year after LWW. Oneshot.

**Rating:** PG

**Timeline:** A year after the events of _The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe_ and less than week before _Prince Caspian_.

**Spoilers: **For the 2005 movie and minor ones for LWW and PC.

**Category:** Spiritual/Angst. Non slash.

**Dedicated: **I am dedicating this story Sentimental Star. I absolutely love how she portrays Peter and Edmund, and their bond as brothers. Sentimental Star, you do a wonderful job with your stories.

**Feedback**: Always happy to hear what readers have to say.

**Archive**: Anywhere, but please ask me first. I would like to know where it's going and to make sure it will have my name on it.

**Disclaimers:** They're not mine, they're copyrighted to and belong to C.S. Lewis. The movie is based off of Lewis' work and copyrights also go to Walt Disney and Walden Media. Not making any money for this story. This fic is just for enjoyment.

_Thoughts and quotes from the movie are in italics_.

* * *

_London, 1941_

"Come on, Edmund!" cried Lucy Pevensie. She tugged on her brother's hand, trying to get him to come with her.

Edmund smiled at his younger sister. The way Lucy was acting, one would think it was _her_ birthday, not his. "All right, Lu," he said as he stood to his feet.

They, along with their other siblings, Peter and Susan, as well as their mother, had just finished eating some of the birthday cake. All of them went into the living room, which was the customary place for gift opening.

Mother brought out three small, but brightly wrapped, presents. She set them on a small table next to Edmund. But the eleven-year-old didn't open the gifts right away.

Edmund felt a small pang in his heart. His father was missing his birthday. Edmund hadn't known at the time, but his tenth birthday would be the last one he would have with his father. He just prayed it really wouldn't be the _last _one.

Glancing at Peter, Susan, and Lucy; Edmund couldn't tell if the same thoughts were on their minds. They all had their birthdays for this year, and their father hadn't been there either. The war wasn't just affecting the men fighting in it.

Edmund tried to push the image of his father from his mind. But that didn't help, because his gaze found the picture of his father on the other table.

"You're not going to doze off before opening you presents are you, Ed?" Susan's teasing voice brought an end to any more thoughts of their father.

Smiling at his sister, Edmund said, "No."

Peter laughed at that, and Edmund saw that his brother's eyes held…understanding. _Had Peter known what I was thinking? _He didn't let his mind ponder on that thought.

He got one of the gifts from the small pile on the table. Tearing the paper away, Edmund saw it was a copy of _Tom Sawyer_. Grinning, he said, "Thanks, Mum."

Edmund enjoyed reading about adventures. Of course after being in Narnia, reading about adventures would never quite be the same.

Opening the next gift, he saw that it was an electric torch. That wasn't something he had been expecting to get. But he liked it. "Mum?"

Smiling, she said, with a bit of sadness, "Your father sent it. He thought you would like it."

Edmund tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. Looking down at the gift in his hands, he studied it. It gave him a minute or two to compose himself. "I'll have to write to thank him."

The last present was a small tin. Opening it, Edmund just stared at the contents. In the tin was Turkish Delight.

He hadn't had any since the time in Narnia with the White Witch. It has been his first time in Narnia, but the last time he ever had his favorite sweet.

_Do you know why you're here, Faun? Because he turned you in for sweeties._

He would never forget those words. Edmund still remembered that cold dungeon. And would always remember the look of betrayal and disbelief on Mr. Tumnus' face.

Or what Aslan had done, giving his own life for _his_. How could Edmund ever forget that? It wasn't something he would never forget. All because of what he had done.

"Edmund!"

So lost in his memories, Edmund hadn't realized that he had dropped the tin. A few pieces of candy were laying on the floor.

"I'm sorry."

He couldn't say anything more to that. Jumping out of the chair, he fled to his bedroom.

Curling into ball on his bed, Edmund let the tears come. Tears for his father. For what he had done to Mr. Tumnus. Remembering what he had put his brother and his sisters through. But mostly Edmund thought about what Aslan had done for _him_.

_I'll never forget that._

Edmund wasn't aware of when he cried himself to sleep.

* * *

That evening, Edmund sat on his bed in his growing dark room. He woke up a while ago. His presents sat on his bedside table.

He was now studying the light from his torch move back and forth on the far wall. He knew he shouldn't waste the battery, so he turned it off.

"Ed?" Peter called softly. There was a knock, but he opened it a second later. He turned on the light. "You're awake."

Blinking his eyes from the sudden brightness, Edmund was silent as Peter came over and sat at the foot of his bed.

"Today was a bit hard, wasn't it? Because Dad wasn't here with us."

He didn't reply, he couldn't.

"Edmund, please talk to me. I can't read your mind." Peter's voice didn't carry the authority and irritation it had a year ago. No, his brother's voice _pleaded_ with Edmund to talk to him.

"You seem to be doing a good job of it so far," he whispered.

"What's bothering you, Ed?"

"It was just that when I saw the Turkish Delight it reminded me of Mr. Tumnus." Edmund didn't continue. He didn't want to mention Aslan, that was painful.

As for Mr. Tumnus, Edmund never told his brother, or his sisters, about the time when he was in the White Witch's dungeon with the Faun. But they all knew that Edmund was a traitor. Or rather, had been.

"Because of what you did?"

"Yes," Edmund answered quietly.

"Can we come in?" Susan asked. She and Lucy were standing just outside of the doorway.

_Had they overheard what Peter and I were talking about?_ Edmund wondered.

"Of course," Peter answered.

Lucy didn't come in empty handed. She held a flat square gift in her hands. The boys made room on the bed for the girls to join them.

"We were going to give this to you after you opened everything else." Peter said, as he took the package from his sister's hands and gave it to his brother.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Edmund tore the wrapping away to reveal a photo sized painting. It had a golden lion running through tall grass. Edmund knew it wasn't The Lion, but he could not help but think of Aslan as he looked at the painting.

"Where did you find this?" he asked softly looking back up at them.

"At a shop a three streets from here. Lucy found it. But once we all saw it, we thought you'd want it as a birthday gift." Susan answered him.

"I love it. Thank you." Edmund was a mix of emotions at that moment.

"Good." Lucy had been quiet the entire time she had been in the room, but now she spoke on. "Mr. Tumnus forgave you for what you did, Edmund."

"How would you know that?" Edmund asked her. He hadn't expected Lucy to say what she did next.

"Because he told me," she said simply.

"If you remember our time as Kings and Queens, you would know that too." Peter added in. "Mr. Tumnus had forgiven you long ago, Ed, even with him _not_ telling me."

Thinking back on it, Edmund knew that Peter was right. He did remember the time when he had a talk with the Faun before they had gone to the land of Calormen with Susan when they ruled in Narnia for many years.

"I know that, but seeing the Turkish Delight brought it all back. Everything that happened. And there was what Aslan did."

"Edmund, you know that we forgave you that day in Aslan's camp, and long before you came back to us, don't you?" Peter asked.

"Yes."

"Then you should also know, as well as remember, that Aslan forgave you too. He willingly made the decision to take your place at the Stone Table."

He remembered again the talk he had with the Great Lion. Not only that, but also his time as King. And knew that Aslan loved him and his siblings as well as all of Narnia.

Putting the picture on the table next to him, Edmund knew that he could never repay Aslan for what he had done for him. Or that it was something he'd always be thankful for. For always.

Spying the tin that held what was left of the Turkish Delight, Edmund got it. "Here, I don't want it." Edmund said, handing it Susan. "You each can finish it."

"But there is only three left, don't you want any?" she asked taking the tin, but leaving it unopened.

"No. I-I just don't like it as I use to."

His siblings knew there was a deeper meaning to his statement. They would eat the candy like Edmund asked, but not in front him.

Changing the subject, Lucy asked, "Did you have a good birthday?"

"Yes, I did." Edmund smiled. "The only bothersome thing is that I wish we didn't have to go to back to school in a few days."

"Yes, well, you do know you can come and talk to me anytime, don't you, Ed?" Peter asked as he ruffled the younger boy's dark hair. He wasn't just meaning school matters.

Edmund moved out of his brother's reach so that he wouldn't further tousle his hair. He nodded seriously with a small smile on his face. He knew what Peter had meant.

Their time in Narnia had changed them all. Of course they still argued every now and again. But none of them doubted their love for one another. Edmund didn't doubt the love Aslan had for him either.

"The holidays are nearly over. And then back to school." Susan said with a sigh.

"But we can still have fun until then."

"What do you have in mind, Lu?" asked Susan, after seeing the merriment in her sister's eyes.

"We can tickle Edmund!" Lucy announced with excitement. The three siblings knew how ticklish he was.

"No!"

Edmund tried to scramble off of his bed, but he wasn't fast enough. Peter tackled him first. The girls followed seconds later, tickling him without mercy.

In the kitchen, Helen paused in her cleaning when she heard something from one of the bedrooms. It was the laughter of all of her children, but she could hear that the mirth of her youngest son the loudest.

She just smiled and chuckled. Whatever had been bothering Edmund before, his brother and sisters had cheered him up. The laughter was music to Helen's ears.

**The End**

**Notes:** I never thought I'd write a Narnia fic. I know style is not how C.S. Lewis wrote the books, or that maybe Edmund and the others are a bit out of character. But I hope it was enjoyable all the same.

I never would have written a fic about Edmund, not that I don't like him, but I guess the movie just gave me the feeling sadness for him. But I'm glad he turned out all right in the end. Who knows? Maybe I'll write another fic on him again.

I'm afraid my beta skills aren't the greatest. So if there's anyone who is willing to be a beta, could you please email me? Thanks!

Thank you for reading, now please review. Constructive criticism is welcome, but please, no flames. **_Jenn_**


End file.
